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Why do so many people do things they hate for such a large portion of their lives?
I don’t understand it and I never will.
In a world where we can earn enough to cloth ourselves and put a roof over our heads fairly easily, we have high performing people who are insanely competent banging their heads against walls.
They have plenty of money in the bank and they have been financially secure for years, but they continue to grind away. Complaining about their schedule and their life for years.
I think it is one of the worlds greatest questions and the thing that confuses me most about the human race.
Is it just sunk cost fallacy and they get in too deep and have trouble telling people no?
Are they chasing status and ego and going after shinier and shinier things to impress the people around them they don’t like?
Are they foolishly hunting for something that is too far off?
Are they addicted to their work and using it as an outlet to escape a poor family life?
I know people who fall into each of those categories.
Here is my theory:
It’s a combination of all of it. It is really hard to set boundaries in this world and bosses, customers and partners will get away with as much as they can get away with.
In this world you get more of what you tolerate. If you tolerate doing things you don’t like because other people want you to do them, you’re going to attract more and more people who want to take advantage of you.
A little bit of it is a delegation problem.
Most high performers spend most of their time doing things they don’t want to be doing for one main reason:
They SUCK AT DELEGATING.
And you know what is interesting about it? Nobody teaches you how to delegate. No high school or college class forces you to get other people to take care of your responsibilities for you. So nobody gets any practice, ever.
Nobody has anyone encouraging them to delegate, either. Because everyone is selfish. They’re worried about their own stuff.
As a matter of fact, people just pour more tasks on to the high performers because they know they’ll get it done properly. You know the old saying:
Want to get a task done? Give it to a busy person.
What is in it for them if they encourage you or teach you to delegate your tasks? Nothing.
Add in the fact that delegation is super difficult and incredibly uncomfortable and you have the current shape of the world… Where high performers work 70 hours a week (mostly doing things they don’t want to be doing) instead of enjoying their lives.
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If you’re working 70 hours a week you have one of three problems:
1) you are a poor delegator.
This is the most likely scenario (95%)
Most people are horrific at delegation. They want to do everything themselves or micromanage every decision.
These folks RARELY get rich and NEVER have a good work life balance while they’re at it.
2) you have too much ego, believe you’re too special, and incorrectly believe only you can do the job.
I also group the people in here who are obsessed with their jobs and do it because they WANT to be doing it. They have their entire identity as a human tied up in their work and so they only care about how that area of their life is going.
They sacrifice everything else – relationships, being a father, hobbies, their bodies…
To chase that career dream and satisfy their ego.
This is very common (4.9%)
3) you’re in too hard of a business.
There are some businesses that just can’t be scaled. The market sucks and nobody has done it before you. You’re solving a problem that doesn’t exist and trying to climb an impossible mountain.
This is rare (.1%)
Another note:
There are some fields where delegation and work / life balance is not possible. Like becoming a medical doctor.
I don’t know why anybody would ever do that – no chance for delegation, if you stop working you stop earning, and the entire system is messed up to the point theres a huge shortage of them and their schedules suck.
There are a lot of fields like this. Don’t make the mistake of falling into them.
How do I know if I’m in one?
Look down the hall. Look at your boss. Look at the person who is in your shoes but 10 years further along.
What are they doing? Do they have balance? Are they earning money while they sleep and spending their time chasing their hobbies or dreams or children?
If they’re still grinding, overweight, unhappy and have a trail of broken relationships, run for the hills.
Some of you are reading this nodding along. Okay Nick, this is me.
So how can I get out of it?
Take ownership. Understand that it is 100% on you and it is your fault. It is a result of your previous decisions that have led you to this point.
And I’ve been there.
I was a horrific delegator early in my career. Every problem came to me. Every employee was my direct report. Every decision in my business was mine to make.
But I did the work to get out of it.
So look in the mirror. Stop making excuses.
I know excuse #1:
“This is just a hard business. There is no way for me to delegate these important tasks. I’m in a field that is impossible to scale.”
Bullshit.
You know what is hard? Building custom homes. I don’t know if there is anything harder.
Yet there are three national homebuilders that are publicly traded with more than 1,000 employees and $100 million a year of revenue.
They delegated. Those owners are on golf courses right now as you’re reading this. Their employees are solving their problems.
You name a hard industry to scale and I’ll show you a company that has made it to $100 million in revenue and has scaled.
If there isn’t a $100 million revenue company in your industry, pick a different industry because you’re in #3 (a job that is impossible to delegate) and that is your fault too for choosing it.
(ask me how I know, I was in one for a long time but sold it in 2021)
Stop making excuses. This is on you and it is your fault. Take ownership of it and admit it. The first step towards recovery is admission.
Here is what you need to do if you want to run multiple companies and play the game of business at the highest level:
Step 1:
Make sure there are people employed at your company who can solve problems.
Step 2:
Put those people between you and the problems.
Step 3:
Pay them really well.
This applies to folks running multi million dollar companies and folks working a job and trying ot work their way up. Delegation is the key to work life balance at any level.
Here is the most important thing:
This email will not teach you to delegate because delegation is a muscle.
If you wanted to build muscle would you read about building muscle and spend all of your time building plans and studying?
No – you’d go to the gym and pick up the damn weight.
Delegation is a muscle. The only way to improve upon it is to get uncomfortable and actually do it.
There are companies that will find the talent for you – I’ve used SupportShepherd.com to hire 50+ folks there and in LATAM for $5 an hour. There is no excuse. Click here to make a hire.
If you’re over-worked at a job, demand a hire in the Philippines to help you (a good boss will allow it).
People get more of what they tolerate. If you tolerate getting over worked and under paid, it is your fault.
I wrote this free mini-course for you with an organized breakdown of some of the most critical things I’ve learned over the years about hiring and delegating. It is indeed free – even though it says “buy-now” on the checkout button.
Work for somebody else? No sweat. It might help you as well when it comes to working less and adding value to your employer. After all – managing other people is what you HAVE to do at work if you want to scale your talent and get PAID the big bucks.
Onward and upward,
Nick
P.S. Want a low risk way to start delegating?
Make a hire in the Philippines or LATAM to work remotely for your company for $800-1,500 per month through Support Shepherd. I’ve hired 50+ employees through them.